the MF.

Here I am sitting on my bed, watching the food channel and drooling, chatting with a person that I truly dislike, and laughing. Laughing mainly cause I am a terrible person making fun of someone I think is unworthy of my time.

Am I judging?

yea. I think so.

[the story]

I used to work with this guy for my summer internship at the Mattress Firm (MF), who truly is a mother fucker (MF). He’s greek, preaches about God, all the morals of the world, and what it takes to be a “truly” good person. He is also the guy we caught red handed butt naked in the middle of the living room rubbing off to porn. 

Sarah and I used to make fun of this kid all the time. It was our highlight from out terrible internship involving bed selling. God, how I hated this internship. They brainwash you into believing cashmere keeps you cool in the summer.

Me: hi! welcome to the mattress firm where it’s EASSYY to get a great nights sleep!
Customer: -_______-” Tell me about this bed. 
Me: So, this is a Sterns and Foster, which is like the Cadillac of mattresses (could I sound anymore blond?). It has cashmere which keeps you cool in the summer and warm in the winter! ** trying to remember more benefits…duh! Thats the whole goal of selling- name one feature, give 3 benefits* and…
Customer: wait wait wait. Did you just say cashmere keeps you cool in the summer?
Me: …yes…
Customer: Have you ever worn a cashmere sweater?
Me: …yes…
Customer: then you should know that cashmere does not keep you cool in the summer. What kind of bullshit are you all running here?
Me: ….-__________-“

Anyway, besides the fact that I refuse to ever work for this company, I started to reminisce based off the following conversation with Mr. McDouchebaggeroo on FB.

[disclaimer]: I am a total bitch. heh.

 
The MF: YO STEPHANIE!
Me: Hi
The MF: ;)
Me: haha hows it going? Still with MF?
the MF: yes maam. Running an area out here in houston
Me: nice. you enjoying it?
the MF: but will soon be getting promoted to a national trainer.
yah
its awesome
making alot of money lol
I see you are a consultant now?
Me: Yes. I’m poor compared to you, mr. big boss man. 
the MF: no man, you all make good money. But I make better. haha
Me: HAH. how does it feel being superior? spending all that money on strippers?
the MF: haha, saving it all.
I am greek and that makes me frugal
but i spend it time to time
So how long have you been in dallas?
Me: dallas is great. I’m glad I’m not with the bloodsucking MF anymore.
The MF: yah, I understand. It’s not for everyone
me: nope!
the MF: I was a corp recruiter for MF for over a year and I get it
me: cool
the MF: but then again, there aren’t a lot of chinese people selling beds. ;)
LOL
Me: Nope. leaving the bed selling to the greeks.
the MF: haha funny
Me: we’ll go invent something. 
the MF: well, one day I will marry me a chinese girl
Me: eew.
the MF: After we met, I became friends with a bunch of chinese people at SFA and learned some mandarin.
Me: cool.
the MF: only if you had a greek fetish would this work out. LOL
I have a chinese name. its Fu Qua which means resurrection in mandarin or to come back to life
Me: Oh yea? who gave you that name
the MF: a friend at SFA. his name is bill (seriously, what chinese person is called Bill? pft).
well, good nice stephanie!
Ti Jian!
LOL 
Me: ti jian
ni jian wang ba dan
The MF: not that good. translate
Me: ask your chinese friend, bill!
The MF: ok lol! it will be my status! I will see how long it takes for a chinese friend to translate :)
Me: excellent. 

womp womp womp. tee hee hee. 

P.S. Ni Jian Wang Ba Dan means…you jackass big dumb egg. something like that :)

P.P.S. sigh. im so mean. but sometimes, its fun to just unleash.