Jade says...
This is a weed.
This is a weed.
Umm. yes way. where can I find a hole so I can crawl into it and die.
You know those nights where you get a little tooooo carried away and have one too many shots? yea, i “remember” those night. More like I wake up in a frantic fear of “where am i?!?!”, and then hear horror stories throughout the day about my belligerence.
The problem with having a thought is that the thought gets significantly exemplified with alcohol.
Thought without alcohol: hmm…he’s really cool. not THAT cute though.
Thought with alcohol: HES NOT ONLY COOL HES SUPER CUTE. OH LOOK. HE’S SHORTER THAN ME! LET ME DRAG HIM AROUND LIKE A PONY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thought without alcohol: I don’t really like you.
Thought with alcohol: I f*cking hate you, you piece of lard ass sh*t. *scream at the top of my lungs*
Thought without alcohol: *blank*
Thought with alcohol: WHAT? a 40 year old white man? WHO CARES.
Thought without alcohol: man, that doorman looks scary.
Thought with alcohol: WHATEVER. I CAN WORK IT. *walk up carelessly*
Me: HI! *wave* I need to pee.
Scary Doorman: thats not my problem
Me: Pleaseee *pout*
Scary Doorman: get in the back of the line.
Me: OH POO.
*luu walks up*
Luu: Hey
Scary Doorman: Hey whats up man? go on in
Me: -_-“
Thought without alcohol: I kinda think you’re cool. Just a little.
Thought with alcohol: I LOVE YOU!!! Can we be friends FOREVER?!?!
And I am sure the list goes on and on and on and on…
About four years ago, a guy from Houston told me I was popular in houston for being a party girl. How did people in Houston hear that? I DON’T KNOW.
Then this past weekend, I guess this conversation seemed to do it.
Me: yea, i moved to Dallas for a guy.
Guy: Wow, really?
Me: yep
Guy: wow…i didn’t know you had it in you
Me: had what in me?
Guy: oh…I don’t know…
Me: *sad face*
I’m pretty sure he was referring to my party-going, flirtatious, rambunctious nature. It’s kinda sad that I look at people like me and go “Man, that person does not have their shit together” when i have it stamped all over my forehead…and then some!
At least at the end of the day I know where I want to be 3 years from now. It’s kinda nice doing things that I want to do without outside influences or distractions. This past week I’ve been pounding myself with “DAMMIT STEPHANIE, DAMMIT”, but came to realize that I actually do know what I want and have a pretty clear head…despite my drinking mishaps. Better now then never…I guess.
JIA YO!
